Then vs. Now
Then….you’d go to high school, maybe college, meet someone at high school or on your college campus, go to mixers or fraternity parties, get engaged, get married and have 2.5 children by age 28.
Now, as a mature woman you either never married, you’re widowed, or like most of you, you’re divorced. You were used to having a husband and children, now you have an empty home that screams of silence. You may or may not hang out with couples anymore, you’ve signed up for a couple of online dating sites and gone on some meet-and-greets.
You leave some of those meet-and-greets in tears because you’re frustrated and disappointed. Even though you’re embarrassed to ask, you breakdown and ask your friends if they know anyone to fix you up with.
You try speed dating, only to feel like one quick job interview after another. Or worse, you hear about people “hooking up” only for sex and want to hide your head in the sand and pretend it’s all just a bad dream.
At this point, you seek counseling and/or support groups and hope someone else can fix you and your problem. But, you soon realize that you’re the only one who can help yourself get on with your life.
You meet a few fix-ups from your friends or family, but wonder “What were my friends thinking when they fixed me up with him???”
You try your hardest to keep a positive attitude, but deep inside you get scared that things will never get any better.
You start to ask your married friends for advice, but they’re no help. All they know is marriage and family and have no clue how to help you in dating when it really comes down to it because they haven’t dated in a long time.
Then, you start to ask your single girlfriends, and maybe even single guy friends you’re starting to meet. The problem with this is that many single, divorced or widowed people are actually a little unstable because they’re not where they want to be in the most important area of their life, their intimate relationship. They’re just doing the best they can do, which is usually repeating the same mistakes they’ve made all their dating life.
So, you continue the dating app process, you join meetup groups, and some of you actually find love and ride off into the sunset, but some of you go through this process year after year after year without any success. This leads to resentment, depression and a sense of failure.
Then, this either cycles into a “I’m not good enough” mentality or “there aren’t” any good guys out there” mentality and all of the sudden you’ve lost your MOJO.
Then, you think, well, this just isn’t for me, you pause your dating apps and hide away for awhile. You hang out with new girlfriends that you’ve made now that you’re single and listen to them complain without any solutions.
Once you’ve licked your dating wounds, you try the whole thing over again, sometimes with a better attitude.
The problem is that you haven’t changed your habits and patterns that keep you single, just timing and different dating apps. The definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again hoping to get different results.” Does this sound familiar? And, you may actually have been doing this not for weeks or months, maybe for years!
There actually is a better way and I can show you how through my Miracle Moments video series where you explore your dating and relationship habits, learn to love and approve of yourself, understand attraction between men and women, learn exact words and phrases to build a great relationship and so much more!
Online dating avenues
The best online dating avenues are where the people are, so look to see the dating sites/apps with the most members.
How to date in this world per your age group
No matter what age you are, you deserve to have a happy healthy dating life. It’s a time to discover things about yourself and things about the men you’re meeting. It helps you get clearer on what you do want versus what you don’t want in a relationship. So, date often and date many men. If you focus too much on one man, you’ll start to overlook things that you really don’t like about him, and could possibly build him up to be someone he’s not because you want those qualities so badly.
You are the “Prize,” so you need to act like you’re the “Prize!” Don’t do his job of pursuing a man because that emasculates him and is very unattractive. Use your feminine qualities of receiving from him. That could be receiving his touch, his gifts and his compliments. Say thank you and let him know that it feels good to you when he does or says something kind.
Always meet a man in a public place on your first meet-up date. A coffee shop is perfect. Thank him and give him appreciation for buying your coffee. The reason to not meet for dinner is because it takes longer and you might not like him and don’t want to be stuck for an hour or so. If you start dating a guy and he invites you to his house or you invite him to your house, do a criminal background check first. My clients have thanked me for this advice. It’s saved them some embarrassment and a potentially harmful experience.