There are lessons in every relationship that has ended and with them comes a chance for you to learn something about yourself. If your marriage has ended and you are ready to jump back in the dating pool, it’s important to walk into a second relationship with the confidence of knowing that you won’t repeat the mistakes of your first. Here are 4 of the most common reasons why a relationship ended and what you can do to avoid them next time.

You Left The Romance Phase

Don’t be afraid to grow out of the “honeymoon stage” – it’s a natural part of growing together as a couple. If your relationship lost some of its initial spark, that’s normal! That simply means you need to make time as a couple to do new things together to keep your relationship fresh and exciting. Don’t give up on a relationship if it doesn’t feel like it felt when you were first dating, but take that as a sign that you need to keep giving 100% to keep your romance-turned-love burning.

You Needed To Get Help

Getting help and understanding how to get from romance to love or back to romance can make or break a relationship. Find an experienced friend to confide in and be 100% honest with them. Hearing an opinion from someone you trust is key to getting you out of your own head and helping you see the situation from perspective other than your own.

Communication

Ever been frustrated because your partner didn’t seem to realize you were upset? We tend to assume that if we’ve been with someone long enough, they can read our minds, but the truth is, nothing can replace honest communication! Stop dropping subtle hint that you’re waiting for an apology and just ask for one! Being vulnerable about the fact that you feel hurt is the best way to give your partner an opportunity to make it up to you – don’t be afraid to spell out exactly what you need from them and you’ll be amazed at how much more responsive they become.

Unmet Expectations

Do you know what the #1 killer of marriages is? If you said money or sex, you’re on the right track, but the answer goes even deeper than these issues! The answer is unmet expectations. This is the “silent killer” of relationships—sometimes neither partner even recognizes that it’s there. Don’t fall prey to this trap! Make a list of what your expectations are for your partner and then communicate them!

Your partner may have no idea that you expect them to pay attention to you in the morning instead of scrolling through their phones. Sitting down to have an honest conversation about the expectations you have of your partner and asking the expectations that they have of you might just save your relationship before it takes a downhill turn.